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28th January 2019
I’ve been away for a while… Out of the country trying to secure a permit to give Donna Liebenberg permission to finally enter the Nuneaton Snooker Singles League. After a solid month of negotiating in the third world, Local president Umtoobu Melkwokbo denied her application for anything resembling extra curricular activity… Shame

In the time I’ve been away, it’s absolutely kicked off! Mourinho was sacked, Theresa’s Brexit deal was knocked back and Simon Bell said to hell with the lone balls and knocked in a break of 20!
That break came in his 3:1 win over Scarflordy Mctrenchcoat and sees Simon climbing up the table in a rather sneaky fashion. That defeat was Clayton’s only disappointment of late as he moved to third spot in Division Four beating table topping Lewis Griffiths 3:1 with a 27 clearance along the way. Lewis stays at the top thanks to a three one win over the most active player in the league, Guy Kerrigan. Guy is bottom of the table at the moment following 3:1 defeats against Rob Tearnan and Matt Jones. But it hasn’t been all bad times for Guy, in his game against Matt he took the final frame of the match, mopping up with a superb 34 Clearance that is the top shot in Division Four to date. Sitting in second in the table is the League’s only unbeaten player, Luke Underhill. In his only game, the son of THE ONE knocked in a tidy 24 break in a 2:2 draw with Matt Jones.

Paul Pickersgill moved into second place in the top division thanks to a 3:1 win over the bullet, Brad Harrison. In that match, Picky showed while he will be in the reckoning come the end of the season with an excellent break of 63. That win from Picky put James Thomason down to third despite James not losing in his last two games. Breaks of 31 and 41 in a 3:1 win over Vinnie Williams before a disappointing game for himself and Joe Warren saw neither player perform that well as they played out a 2:2 draw. Joe with perhaps a little more to be happy about with him knocking in a break of 37 in the match.

Three players are tied at the top of Division Two and they were all in action. Paul Dicks maintained his perfect record over John Iddon with a 4:0 win. Paul made two breaks of 36 against John who enjoyed a 4:0 success of his own against Andy Needham to take his share of top spot. The other player with a share of the lead is Glen Parkes who played out two draws against David Mallabone and Danny Jordan before a satisfying incestual 4:0 brutalising of handsome Jack Slater, 4:0! Jack didn’t lick his wounds for too long as a couple of days later, he thrashed bottom of the table and division whipping mole, Dave Mallabone.

Andy Mackay is making a Mackokery (does that pun work, not sure? I’m going with it… ALL IN!) of Division Three as he extended his lead to a mammoth 10 points with a 4:0 win over hapless Aaron Wain. Way back over the horizon in second place in Michael The Tsunami Travis who enjoyed a 3:1 over Chinese potter Yung Joe Pitcher. Trav will need to keep his 100% record intact for a while longer if he hopes to knock Mackay off his stride. Yung Joe made Chop Suey of Ollie Barlow by serving him up a double portion of 4:0 humiliation at the Atack. Unfortunately for the Pitchdog, Andy Smith brought a slice of 30 break from home and that was enough for Smithy to grab himself a 2:2 draw.

In my absence, Division Five has been pinging more than a slag’s WhatsApp with 9 fixtures being played and a host of movers and shakers… Firmly out in front 😉 is Becs McCool who took part in three games. She shared the frames in two of her games with Rich Milliner and Lewis Selby before welcoming newcomer to the league, Michael Freeman, cordially handing him out a 4:0 whooping. It’s not been all bad news for the new guy. He had far too much pot for Rich Milliner as he beat him 3:1 before playing out a 2:2 draw with unbeaten Grant Darby. Grant is poised to strike in second place following his win over his dearly beloved, Chantelle Green, 3:1… I hope there wasn’t too much domestic violence following that one as I’m sure Chantelle wanted to knock fuck out of him 😉 Chantelle can be happier with her form in her other games as she played out with a MASSIVE PAIR…. …. …. of games against seins de sucre, Michelle Currin. Chantelle handed her a 4:0 smashing before taking pity on the lovely and playing out a 2:2 draw. The only other game played saw Tia Ellis fall to the bottom of the table as she came unstuck against Rich Milliner, losing 3:1

Apologies for the shit report, soooooooooo busy following my getaway. Get your games played x

11th December 2018

The Genetic Mess, Ollie Barlow storms to the top of the Division Three High break list with a MAMMOTH contribution (for him) of 48!
Now, 48 is a decent break at most times… But when it comes against Nuneaton’s Number One Cue Sports Experience, Anthony The Sensation Tedds, then it’s the equivalent of a 200 break against mortal opposition. Ollie’s 3:1 win over Teddsy, sees him move to 5th in the table on frame difference.

Andy Moo-Chai is still shooting away from the chasing pack and two wins of 3:1 over Karl Haines and Newcomer to the league, Andy Smith, knocking in a 24 against Smithy.
Mr Mackay also dropped his first points of the season in a 2:2 draw against talented youngster, Joe Pitcher. The little southpaw making breaks of 27 and 23 in that match.

In Division Four, Matt Jones has had a fortnight to forget. Looking invincible with 16 frames from 16 Matt has slipped from Top of the table down to fourth! The spiral started with a titanic tussle with Clayton ‘The ScarfMaster’ Harper which ended in a 2:2 draw.

Matt obviously played well in that match as he knocked in the Division Four topshot of 29. Unfortunately for Matt, he failed to take that form into his next match against Dark Horse Lewis Griffiths, who took the match 3:1 and then took top spot in the table after beating Robert Tearnan 3:1.

If anyone in Division Four can claim to be more disappointed, it’s Robert Tearnan, who following the resignation of Kian Barlow, is yet to earn a point.

Robert was on the end of a 4:0 reversal at the hands of Clayton before rallying his troops to prepare for the long-anticipated Battle of Betfred!
It was a cold, tired December morning… Local reconnaissance and other scouting operations spotted all potential Long Balls to be avoided as the armies of Robert and The Gamblenator Simon Bell took to the field…

When the dust settled and the voices in the distance echoed no more, it was Simon who plunged his bayonet deep in the heart of Robert, absolutely brutalizing him with another 4:0 defeat… A defeat so bad and so heinous, it borders on a war crime… We await NATO’s response.

The Tearnan conflict wasn’t Simon’s only game in the last few weeks. Reinvigorated by snooker, Simon whipped and frog tied The Cowboy, Guy Kerrigan, besting him 3:1 to move into 5th place.
It should be noted that purring along in second place in Division Four, is son of THE ONE Luke Underhill. Luke is casually sitting on a perfect four wins from four, adding the scalps of Guy Kerrigan (4:0) and Uncle Aaron Edwards (3:1). Luke also added his name to the high break table with a run of 20.

A severe outbreak of DIY and Decorating at the Count of Caldwell’s Colosseum of Classy Cueing means that only two games have been played in the top division this past couple of weeks.
Joe Warren and Brad ‘The Bullet’ Harrison were found to be evenly matched in an uneventful 2:2 draw.

In the other fixture played, Paul Pickersgill showed his class as he mauled an out of sort James Thomason 4:0. Picky cared little for James’ lack of form as he made light work of the challenge with four breaks over 30.

There are a lot of games outstanding in Division Two and that’s making it difficult to see who the challengers for the prizes are going to be moving forward. Paul Dick’s is moving into contention as the division’s dark horse after he got rid of Jack Slater, 4:0 in their game. Paul is top of the table with two wins from two.

Closely behind him is pre-competition favourite John Iddon who brushed off his disappointing start with a 4:0 win over Nigel Griffiths. John rediscovered the potting touch making breaks of 23, 31 and 46 in the match.

In Division Five, The Real Selby had been looking unstoppable and that trend ended abruptly when he faced Chantelle Green who won their match 3:1. That was Chantelle’s second match of the period as she also drew 2:2 with Rich Milliner.

The group of 5/6 in division Five are all separated by only a couple of points and straddling proudly on top of the meaty pile is Becs McCool, who made it two wins out of two in match up against Tia Ellis.
Tia will need to up her game if she wants to be in the reckoning come the end of the season. Her only other game of the last few weeks ended in a 2:2 draw against Bosom buddy, Michelle Currin.

A few withdrawals from the league:

Ryan Dolman – replaced by Andy Smith
Craig Webb – replaced by Michael Freeman
Kian Barlow and Dalton Hamilton have also withdrawn and will not be replaced.

Prize money remains unaffected.

Good luck in your Cup matches and GET YOUR GAMES PLAYED

21st November 2018
Two weeks since the last update and let me begin by offering my deepest condolences at the loss of friend to all, Andrew Yearby… I had known Andy since I was about 13 years old and can’t think of any instance where I would have ever had a bad word for him. You hear it a lot when people pass but Yakka was genuinely the most unobtrusive and inoffensive guy you could ever meet… The world is worse off for his passing

Please take the time to visit the crowdfunding page to help Andrew’s family with the funeral expenses https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/joepool8

Only two games have been played in the top league this past fortnight and enthusiastic dance off loser, James Thomason was involved in both of them. James beat newcomer Rash Vorajee, 3:1 with a high shot of 37. James’ efforts were only good enough for second in the table as he played the league’s top shot, Adam Edge who took the fixture with a 3:1 win of his own. Adam made three breaks over 30 during the win.

Division five also had a pair of games played… Becs McCool dropped her first points of the season at the Palace of Pot when she found herself evenly matched against Craig Webb, all four games being settled on the colours. If mammary serves, old ‘Sugar Tits’ Michelle Currin also played during the past two weeks. Lewis Selby proved too hot for her to handle as his third win from as many games puts him on top of the basement division.

Four players have a share of the lead in Division Two and three of them were involved in encounters against each other. Andy Needham gave himself a share of first place to begin with as he thumped the ‘Tanned Adonis’ Glen Parkes 4:0 on his return to the UK. Needham was in great form, knocking in a 39 in one of the frames… Last time Noodle dished up a 39, he was serving a portion of sweet and sour chicken! That form didn’t last too long. A few days later, Nathan Wilbur had too much cue power for Needham to handle, taking his own share of top spot with a 3:1 win buoyed by breaks of 24 and 20.
John Iddon reminded the division why he might be considered a favourite for the title. Trigg put his first game defeat to rest with a 3:1 win over Danny Jordan, who is yet to register a point in the competition so far.

One game in division four carried the match report ‘nothing of note happened’. Well, Aaron Edwards and Clayton Harper drew 2:2 in that match and put the division on notice that it’s going to play out very competitively indeed.

Division three has been the most active division in the last fourteen days and Andy Mackay is making all the right moves. Four wins from four so far and the top three breaks in the division. A 4:0 win over Ollie Barlow and a 3:1 win over the Dad of Brad, breaks of 40, 31 and 30 from Andy… Take notice, Division Three. Aaron Wain is at the other end of the table and pointless after young Joe Pitcher took their tie. 3:1. Aaron started things off with a break of 20 but Joe fired back with a pair of 24 breaks and a 21 for good measure.
Karl Haines knocked in breaks of 22 and 24 in his match against Ryan Dolman. Unfortunately for Karl, those runs weren’t good enough to secure him more than a single frame with Ryan taking his first win of the campaign, 3:1.

Remember, if you have the time
https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/joepool8

It will really help a desperate family, filled with grief x

5th November 2018
Adam Edge showed the league why he is considered favourite to take the top title. In his 4:0 win against Joe Warren, he knocked in a multitude of breaks over 30, topping off the performance with a break of 80, the highest in the league so far. That was Joe Warren’s second game of the season but not his first 4:0 defeat. The first came from the potting dominance of ‘The One’. Joe will now be able to re spot the colours without looking as the Count of Caldwell Road knocked in 5 breaks over 20 with a high shot of 46… What a handsome and talented guy.

The UK is gripped in fear currently. It’s flu season and there are morbid concerns that vaccinations aren’t working as effectively as they once were. Whilst flu remains a worry for society, there is a disease which has gripped the league with greater severity… Yakkafear!
Jordan Turner dropped out of division five with one of the most confusing cases of Yakkafear since the outbreak began. HIs place was taken twice, first by Donna Liebenberg and then by Lewis ‘The Real’ Selby. An irregularity in Donna’s work permit saw her ineligible for competition and deported back to the South African mud & zebra farm she came from. Lewis ‘The Real’ took no time settling in to the league as he dispatched Rich Milliner in his first game, 3:1, making a 20 break in the process.
Rich won’t be too disappointed though. He made a break of 22 in the match which keeps him top of the high break table. Rich sits second in the table after 4 played. The bulk of his points coming in a 3:1 win over ‘Sugar Tits’ Michelle Currin.
Grant Darby is top of division 5 as he put D’altagnan Hamilton to the sword with a 3:1 win.

After his first 3 games, Matt ‘The Bass’ Jones is showing signs of completely bastardising division 4. Matt hasn’t dropped a frame so far and helped himself to breaks of 24 and 23 against Robert Tearnan and Simon Bell respectively. That defeat was Robert’s second 4:0 defeat in a week, as he was also soundly beaten by son of ‘The One’ Luke Underhill. Robert and Simon surely looking forward to playing each other in the much anticipated ‘Battle of Betfred’

I remember when Leicester won the Premier League, when Hasim Rahman knocked out Lennox Lewis and when Mark Hewer shaved his beard… I was able to add another sporting memory to the list when I saw Michael Travis win 4:0 against none other than Anthony The Sensation Tedds! Pots were flying in from the Tsunami who made breaks of 23 and 22 to drown out the sound of the legend’s excuses. Teddsy will have to up his effort if he’s to take the title he tipped himself to win. Trav is top of division 3 as he spanked Ollie ‘The Genetic Mess’ Barlow 3:1. Ollie put the disappointment of defeat behind him quickly, drawing 2:2 with Ryan Dolman only a day later.

Jack Slater is proving himself to be a bit of a break building machine. He made four breaks over 20 with the highest being 39. Quite impressive from the lad considering he only stopped playing in on the kiddie pool only a few weeks ago. Potting balls isn’t always enough and despite his many breaks, Nathan Wilbur was able to hold Jack to a 2:2 draw. The man with the top break in Division 2 is Dave Mallabone. Following his 61 last week, Dave might be disappointed that his next visit to the league was to lose 3:1 to Paul ‘The Dancer’ Dicks. Paul’s first game in the league saw him make a break of 31… Not too shabby.

In other news, Jordan Armstrong was booted from the league and has been replaced in the Top division by Rash ‘The Bash’ Vorajee

Happy potting, get your games played
Jack.

24th October 2018
Local Legend, Dave ‘The Iron Gypsy’ Mallabone made his entrance to Division Two this week with an excellent break of 61.
Opponent Nigel Griffiths really had to use his MOLEtiplication skills as Dave started fast. Nigel battled back to take a 2:1 lead before Dave took the last frame to earn a point. Nigel’s first game of the season also ended in a draw. Breaks of 20 and 27 from Griff were only good enough for a point against Glen Parkes who finds himself at the top of the division.

Hot on his heels is household rival Jack ‘The Three’ Slater. Jack was in fine form against pre competition favourite John ‘Trigg’ Iddon, making a pair of 20 breaks and capping off his 3:1 win with a run of 30.

The only game played in Division Five saw Tia Ellis move to the top of the table. Tia made short work of Craig Webb as she thumped him 4:0 in their final matches of the month. Division Five also saw Jordan Turner exit the league with a terrible case of YAKKAFEAR!

James Thomason is king of the castle for October and showed a bit of class in the process. Before the MOLEnificence, James had the highest break of the competition when he posted a score of 58 against Tom Walker. That 3:1 win was James’ second win of the month and that puts him top of the table with several matches still to play.

Israel and Palestine… The Sunni and the Shiites… The USA and the Soviet Block… All enemies, all thinking their way was better. All of which paling in comparison to the true question???

Should the name be spelt with a ‘C’ or with a ‘K’ and this week we had the league’s very first ‘K’C’arl-off!
Harrison and Haines locked horns and readied their offensive arsenals in an attempt to work out who was best. Unfortunately the conflict shows no sign of ending with talks ending in a 2:2 draw. Luckily, nothing was broken (above 20)
Was any of that funny? Not sure… I’m going with it anyway x

Simon Bell’s October wasn’t as planned… First off he ran into Dark Horse for the division, Lewis Griffiths. Lewis dispatched Simon 4:0 to maintain his position atop the table. Simon’s next disappointment came in the form of a 3:1 defeat at the hands of Battle Royal tag-team partner and son of ‘THE ONE’, Luke Underhill
Simon perhaps took on one too many ‘lone ball’ as the son of ‘The One’ made four breaks of 16 or over but not enough to be considered for the high break prize.

With lots of games still to play and fixtures to be released today, I urge all to arrange their games quickly and HAPPY POTTING x

11th October 2018
Another week and a myriad of matches sees some of the divisions in the Nuneaton Snooker Singles League start to take shape…

The top division is yet to catch fire with a few players still to get on the table. James Thomason finds himself in second after a 3:1 win against The Bullet Brad Harrison who managed to knock in a 38 break despite the defeat.

At the other end of the competition, Becs McCool roared to the top of Division 5, thumping Chantelle Green 4:0 at the Caldwell Palace of Pot. This was the first win in Division 5 with every other game being played ending up as a 2:2 draw. It promises to be a very competitive division.

Lewis Griffiths, many people’s tip for Division 4 started the season with a win. Lewis beat Aaron Edwards 3:1 at the Atack but can consider himself fortunate after trailing in a couple of frames he won.

Andrew Mackay made it two wins from two against Aaron Wain, showing all that he’s not likely to remain an unknown quantity for long. The only other game in division Three saw young talent Joe Pitcher held to a draw against the DAD OF BRAD, Carl Harrison. Joe will have to pick up some wins in his next couple of fixtures if he looks to live up to his pre season billing as division 3 favourite.

A third of the month gone and still loads of snooker to play… Big Hitters like Tom Walker, David Mallabone and Paul Dicks still to open their accounts… Weather reports make no mention of an impending Tsunamis, sparking news that Michael Travis may infact be the next league member to be stricken with Yakkafear.

2nd October 2018
The Titan, Glen Parkes potted his way to the first ever victory recorded in the Nuneaton Snooker Singles League… The Windmill cueist despatched Nathan ‘Cue Power’ Wilbur 3:1 to take top spot in Division Two, knocking in a 24 break for the ages in the process.

Adam Edge reminded everyone in Division One why he’s a firm favourite for the title by handing Paul Pickersgill a 4:0 defeat at Coton Conservative. The Pickmeister by all accounts can consider himself unlucky not to have taken one frame, following an unexpected miss on a simple black. Adam fired in the Highest Break of the opening week with a 44 Clearance.
Brad Harrison is in second spot thanks to a 3:1 win over Vinnie Williams with both players each making 3 breaks over 20.

Nuneaton was treated to a spectacle of fine snooker in Division Three as men, women and children of all ages got their popcorn ready and settled in to watch Nuneaton’s Number One Cue Sports Experience, Anthony ‘The Sensation’ Tedds tackle Karl ‘The Teddslayer’ Haines at the Caldwell Colosseum. A Gripping three hours later and the great man squeezed out his first win of the campaign. That win sees Anthony go joint top with unknown quantity Mr Andrew Mackay who beat Ryan ‘Sam & Dave’ Dolman by the same score the day before.

Newcomer to snooker Guy Kerrigan is keen. So keen in fact that he’s already played both of his matches for October. Guy shared the frames with Aaron Edwards but was only able to take one frame against Captain Obvious, Clayton Harper. That win sees Clayton move into second behind Matt Jones who had too much pot for wee Kian Barlow to handle.

With no games being played in Division Five it’s anyone’s title… Becs McCool retains top spot but the chasing pack are hot on her heels and she’ll need to maintain her undefeated record if she wants to stay in first place… Pre Tournament favourite, Richard Milliner is looking to come from behind

27th September 2018
Divisions announced and October fixtures released!

The maximum allocation of players was reached and we even have one or two on standby… A big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to enter and good luck to everyone during the upcoming season.

Head over to the fixtures link to see who you have drawn to play against in October.

Try to arrange your matches as early as possible. Most players are available through facebook so feel free to add all the members in the group as friends.

Phone numbers will be uploaded to this site over the next week or so.

Remember:
Matches are 4 frames
Record all breaks over 20
Home player pays for the table.

Any questions… check the rules page, post on facebook or contact me directly.

Happy Potting

Division One
Adam Edge
Brad Harrison
Jack Underhill
James Thomason
Joe Warren
Jordan Armstrong
Paul Pickersgill
Tom Walker
Vinnie Williams

Division Two
Andy Needham
Danny Jordan
Dave Mallabone
Glen Parkes
Jack Slater
John Iddon
Nathan Wilbur
Nigel Griffiths
Paul Dicks

Division Three
Aaron Wain
Andrew Mackay
Ollie Barlow
Anthony Tedds
Carl Harrison
Joe Pitcher
Karl Haines
Michael Travis
Ryan Dolman

Division Four
Aaron Edwards
Clayton Harper
Guy Kerrigan
Lewis Griffiths
Luke Underhill
Matt Jones
Kian Barlow
Robert Tearnan
Simon Bell

Division Five
Becs McCool
Chantelle Green
Craig Webb
Grant Darby
Jordan Turner
Michael Freeman
Michelle Currin
Rich Milliner
Tia Ellis